For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
Let me say that the following post is not only applicable for a musician’s performance; these principles can apply to most anyone who ever has to endure a job interview, public speaking, or even going on a date.
I was not aware that I had social anxiety until I transferred to BYU-Idaho in the beginning of 2018. I transferred so that I could study piano. Being a piano major has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my life, but it has also been a highly anxiety-provoking trial with every performance I have done. Yet I am grateful the timing was such that I discovered my health issue at the beginning of my time here.
Here are some things I have learned regarding performance anxiety:
It is normal to feel stressed
My private piano teacher has often said that it is good for his students to be fearful in masterclass.* It is perfectly normal to be afraid to perform in front of others, because being afraid means that you care about doing well, it means that you are alert, and it means you are a human being with feelings! Your nerves are what caution you into preparing properly for a performance.
Turn outward, not inward
Your performance is not only meant for others to evaluate you, it is also about what you can give to people. It helps to focus on the fact that you are performing to let others hear beautiful music. The people who are listening are not there solely to judge you! Turn your attention outward by serving others with your talents--do not turn inward, being only worried about yourself and then getting drowned by your own insecurities.
Establish a positive mindset
I go into my performances knowing that I have prepared the best that I can beforehand. Right before I start playing, I have imagined myself doing well and being proud of myself afterwards. And then, after I get up to perform, my little prophecy is quickly fulfilled. If I tell myself I am going to stink, I am not giving myself a helpful mindset, am I?
See yourself as a “glass half-full”
After a performance, I acknowledge the good that I have done instead of only focusing on the few mistakes that I made. I see my performance as a glass half-full instead of half-empty, and this allows me to avoid being so hard on myself.
Take medication
I could not believe how much more calm I was after I started taking medication for my anxiety. Back before I started taking meds, every time I would perform, I felt like I was going to die. My heart would race, my hands would shake; the panic attacks were so bad! But once I got medication prescribed I felt completely different. I still get nervous while on my meds, but I can control my nerves much better instead of letting my nerves get the best of me.
***
I will end with a quick anecdote. A classmate of mine recently asked me if I ever get nervous during my performances. Surprised by her question, I said “yes.” She said that every time she has seen me perform, I do not seem nervous. I was stunned. Her perception of me is absolutely false; of course I get stage fright. But this encounter reminded me of this truth: the people who appear to have high self-esteem are not as confident as they seem. Do not be discouraged if others look like they have their lives together while yours is falling apart. We are all united in our suffering, and thanks to our Savior, we can overcome any challenge that comes our way.
*Masterclass is our weekly get-together as piano students to perform in front of each other. We don’t want our performances at the end of each semester to be the only time we play in front of others, so we practice performing each week to get used to our stage fright.
