“Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.”
Psalms 66:16
The culture of vulnerability that is present on Twitter is why it is my favorite form of social media. Instagram and Facebook are all about showing how awesome your life is--the vacations you’ve been on, the adventures you have with friends, and your picture-perfect family. Twitter, on the other hand, is all about joking about how much life stinks; in other words, it's about being vulnerable. People post about things like how hard it is to motivate yourself to exercise, getting sick with stress, and how adults pretend like they know what they’re doing. Personally, I can relate more to the stuff posted on Twitter.
Putting social media aside, I really wish that in person, we were better about being vulnerable.
As humans we often feel like we don’t belong; this feeling stems from looking at others and thinking that their life is great. If we really got to know other people by sharing our vulnerabilities and listening to others’, we would realize that we are all dealing with problems and we are not so different. In other words, by being vulnerable, we create a sense of belonging.
I want to give three examples about how powerful it is to share our weaknesses:
One time when I was serving as a counselor in the Relief Society Presidency in a Young Single Adult Ward, I was convinced that I was completely inadequate for my calling. I was asked to teach a lesson in Relief Society and as I taught, I felt inspired to tell all of the sisters about some of these negative feelings I was having. I wept as I spoke, and I was overwhelmed with the love that the sisters had for me that day. They supported me, and afterwards many of them gave me a hug. That was easily one of the most memorable days at church that I’ve ever had. Months later, after I had moved out of that ward, that Relief Society President texted me saying that the sisters still mentioned the lesson that I had taught, saying that it had moved them.
Another example was when I was an undergrad. I had a roommate who had been friendly with me but we hadn’t had a ton of time to get to know each other with our busy schedules. However, one evening she opened up to me about a problem she was having. I listened and talked to her for at least 2 or 3 hours straight that night. As she shared her problem with me, I felt more love for her than I ever had before. I felt the love that the Savior had for her. After that, she and I were more solid as friends, and I am so grateful that she was willing to be vulnerable with me.
My mother is a great example of someone who is willing to be vulnerable. She has often shared her tough experiences in public. One time she said something very profound regarding this. She was asked the question, “Is it hard for you to tell your personal stories, because there are severe tragedies in them?” She answered, “Yes, of course it is hard. But there is power in telling our stories. When someone tells me their story, something happens. They become more relatable and I realize they are just human beings like I am. And we can see we are not alone. Of course we need to follow the Holy Ghost in the way and the time and the context that we share our stories. But my story does not belong to me. It really belongs to God, because He is the one who made me, and I also need to be able to testify of the miracle that He has made of my life.”
Being vulnerable has given me peace. Don't be afraid to share your story! Opening up will lead you to the healing that you need.
Elena, I want to thank you for the words you shared in your podcast. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/inspiration/latter-day-saints-channel/listen/series/latter-day-saint-women/reyna-aburtoand-elenaaburto-mental-health-receiving-help-and-giving-support?lang=eng Tonight while I was taking a walk, I listened to your words and could feel your courage and strength. I too wrestle with depression and anxiety. I live in Sacramento, California not far from where you served your mission. Justine Bingham
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words!
DeleteWow this is soo powerful! I love what you shared that your mom said in response to the question she was asked. It's so true that sharing our stories connect us to others and to God. This is one of the reasons I found it hard to attend church because no ones examples that they shared in lessons or talks fit the daily depression that I face. I shared a few vulnerable things and never saw vulnerability the way I showed it. It's hard when we don't get that in return, but reading your experiences on your blog (I basically just read all of your posts) has helped validate my feelings. It's nice to read something from someone else and feel like I'm reading my own story. So glad your mom referenced you in her talk so I could find you blog! Keep sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm just now seeing this six months after you posted. I so appreciate your words! Be patient with those who aren't as willing to be vulnerable. Personally I think introverts are more willing to be vulnerable than extroverts, which may be why you don't hear their stories in public as often as the "louder" people. Hopefully that makes sense.
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