Healthy Mindset about Sexuality while being Single

Something that can cause shame which can lead to anxiety and depression is when people fall under the trap of pornography and/or sexual transgression. Even though I firmly believe that living the law of chastity is extremely important, I also understand why people fall for those temptations--it's because the desire for sex is strong and God-given. The adversary attacks this desire because it is such a sacred part of our lives.

I hope to open a more positive discussion about sexuality instead of merely focusing on what single people cannot do. By simply having a more positive mindset about these things, feelings of shame can start to disappear. 

Do we realize that it is normal to be curious about sex?! It is healthy to desire it! 

We are all created in our Heavenly Parents' images. We believe that God is our Father in the literal sense of the word "father." We can infer that He is a sexual being, which is why we are sexual beings too. Even when you are single and chaste, your sexuality exists.  

When watching animal documentaries, it's easy to see that animals have a natural desire for companionship. As animals are mating, in their minds they aren't thinking, "We're going to make babies." They simply have the instinct to mate because it feels nice to have a companion and God didn't intend for them to be alone. Similar things happen with humans.

Heavenly Father did not intend for us to be alone. He gave us feelings of attraction. He wants us to have companions and start families.

I was talking to someone about this who was saying that, when they got engaged, together with their partner they decided that they weren't going to spend time at each other's apartments because they knew that if they were going to be in a private setting, they were going to break the law of chastity. Their love for each other was just too strong, and that's a good thing! How weird would it have been if two people were about to get married and did NOT have the desire to make love?

We all need to control our sex drive. Sex should be an expression of true love and both married partners should feel comfortable about it. Sex should help two people feel protected and accepted. Sex should be selfless. "Cleave unto charity...charity is the pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:46-47).

I hope you develop a healthy mindset about sexuality. Even if you have committed a sexual sin, repentance is possible.

If you'd like to learn more about healthy sexuality, look up Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Dr. Tammy Hill. Their podcasts and websites have more information.

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/

https://www.tammyhill.com/