Relationship status does not equal worth

Why oh why do we measure our worth based on our relationship status? As far as we know, Jesus Christ was single while He was here on earth, so why do we act like being single is such a miserable, anxiety-filled state of life? 

I have acquaintances who have considered dating someone and then felt the Spirit confirm to them that yes, they should date this person. But then that person rejects them, or breaks up with them or something, and they ask “Why did God tell me to date this person if it didn’t work out?” 

Let’s get this straight: Just because you didn’t up marrying the person doesn’t mean that it was a bad idea to date them! I have never heard of someone marrying the first person they wanted to date; we will probably need to date around and have a mixture of good and bad experiences with dating in order to find the right person. Anxiety from negative dating experiences comes because we dwell on what went wrong, but instead we need to focus on what God wants us to learn from our experiences. For example, we need to ask yourself questions like, “What can I do to be a better partner next time? What did I learn about what I want in a partner? How can I remain pure to attract a good person?” We also need to take a step back and realize that even if we are single after many failed attempts to get out of that status, we are still capable of doing good, we still are children of a Heavenly King, and therefore we are valuable. 

We also need to understand that it is simply unrealistic to expect your dating experiences to be perfect. It’s OK for your heart to be broken. It’s OK for you to not be interested in someone you’ve gone out with and gently tell them the truth. These are uncomfortable situations to be in, but it’s part of life, and there is no problem that we have that is outside of the bounds of the love of Christ. He can help us through anything we are dealing with.

If you live your life thinking you should never be sad nor make any mistakes, that’s like living without need for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Look at each experience as an opportunity for growth and also as a way to come closer to the Savior.

Let us also be reminded that getting married is the only commandment that requires the agency of two people. It takes a miracle for two people to be in love at the same time.

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren [and sisters,] let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (Doctrine and Covenants 123:17)