Short Study Session on Self-esteem

There is not a single person I have met with perfect self-esteem. Those who seem to be exceedingly confident secretly struggle with their feelings of inadequacy.

With that in mind, recently I was reading a few verses in Doctrine and Covenants, while asking myself, “What does this teach me about self-esteem?” There, I found great teachings on poor self-esteem as well as healthy self-esteem.

In D&C 121:34-40 there are some facts about where poor self-esteem comes from. (I encourage you to think about the application to your own life. I put my examples here.)

• Heart is set upon things of the world (vs. 35.) In other words, not being focused on the things that truly matter.
• Aspiring to the honors of men (vs. 35.) For me this could mean worrying too much about what people think of me.
• Covering our sins (vs. 37.) This is due to being too ashamed to admit that I’ve done something wrong.
• Exercising control, dominion, or compulsion on someone else (vs. 37.) Anytime I’ve been rude it usually was due to my poor self-esteem.

The rest of section 121 tells us where good self-esteem comes from. (D&C 121: 41-46)

• Gentleness and meekness (vs. 41)
• “By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile” (vs. 41)
• Giving feedback or constructive criticism ONLY when guided by the Holy Ghost, and loving the person whom you’ve reproved. (vs. 42)
• Having charity, which is the love of God. (vs. 45)

When you focus on helping others, you earn healthy self-esteem. Kristen M. Oaks once explained that there is no better training for the building of self-esteem than service to others.

Here are some of the effects of having good self-esteem: (D&C 121: 45-46)

• “Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.” (vs. 45) 
• “The doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (vs. 46) In other words, you will have the power of God rooted in you.
• “The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion” (vs. 46)

I invite you to read these verses and continue to study on how you can increase your self-esteem. Study and choose just one thing you can apply into your own life now to be more confident. 

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Doctrine and Covenants Section 121: 34-46

34 Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

35 Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—

36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

38 Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God.

39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.